2008 Woodie Awards
Reed All About It:
Gandlet, Prince of geese to avenge father s death
Reed Stratton
Issue date: 11/6/03 Section: Features
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According to Lakeland watchgander, Barn Yardo and Marcellus, around midnight while some campus geese stood guard at the banks of the lagoon, they were approached by a goosely apparition. It was the second night that they saw the figure, and only a few days after the untimely death of one of their fellow campus geese.
There were speculations that the figure would appear the next night so, to be prepared, they prompted Honk Ratio, a scholar, to honk to it if it came back. Also, because it "twas in the same figure like the King that's dead," as Barn Yardo told me, the watchmen informed the king's mourning son, Prince Gandlet, about the encounter.
The next night they all stood guard again at the bitter cold shore. Early in the watch not even a mouse stirred, but later on the goosely spirit allegedly approached once more, this time summoning Gandlet. Gandlet flew aside with the ghost under a nearby willow tree where the ghost honked that his death, formerly considered accidental, was actually murder.
Witnesses Barn Yardo and Honk Ratio claim that, in a rumbling honk, the ghost revealed to Gandlet that as a ghost, he was "doomed for a certain term to waddle the night, and for the day confin'd to fast in dung-infested waters, till' the fowl crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purg'd away." To this, Gandlet responded "murther?" The king boomed back "murther most fowl!" adding "at the hand of that disc golfer whose spinning effect holds such an enmity with the blood of gander that swift as quicksilver it courses through the natural feathers and wings of the body." Leaving a shocked and unsettled prince Gantlet, the "perturbed spirit" then rose off the water and into the scent of the morning air, hasted to know that- with wings swift as migration or the thoughts of corn- his revenge would be carried out by noble prince Gandlet.
In a recent interview Prince Gandlet honked, "This time is out of joint," adding "Oh cursed spite, that I was ever born to set it right." Gandlet had been experiencing some severe symptoms of what nurse geese claim to be post traumatic stress syndrome. Close friends have been complaining of late about him contemplating "to flee or not to flee" almost obsessively. Others even consider him to be growing mad. However, he is actively pursuing his dead father's wishes.
There were speculations that the figure would appear the next night so, to be prepared, they prompted Honk Ratio, a scholar, to honk to it if it came back. Also, because it "twas in the same figure like the King that's dead," as Barn Yardo told me, the watchmen informed the king's mourning son, Prince Gandlet, about the encounter.
The next night they all stood guard again at the bitter cold shore. Early in the watch not even a mouse stirred, but later on the goosely spirit allegedly approached once more, this time summoning Gandlet. Gandlet flew aside with the ghost under a nearby willow tree where the ghost honked that his death, formerly considered accidental, was actually murder.
Witnesses Barn Yardo and Honk Ratio claim that, in a rumbling honk, the ghost revealed to Gandlet that as a ghost, he was "doomed for a certain term to waddle the night, and for the day confin'd to fast in dung-infested waters, till' the fowl crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purg'd away." To this, Gandlet responded "murther?" The king boomed back "murther most fowl!" adding "at the hand of that disc golfer whose spinning effect holds such an enmity with the blood of gander that swift as quicksilver it courses through the natural feathers and wings of the body." Leaving a shocked and unsettled prince Gantlet, the "perturbed spirit" then rose off the water and into the scent of the morning air, hasted to know that- with wings swift as migration or the thoughts of corn- his revenge would be carried out by noble prince Gandlet.
In a recent interview Prince Gandlet honked, "This time is out of joint," adding "Oh cursed spite, that I was ever born to set it right." Gandlet had been experiencing some severe symptoms of what nurse geese claim to be post traumatic stress syndrome. Close friends have been complaining of late about him contemplating "to flee or not to flee" almost obsessively. Others even consider him to be growing mad. However, he is actively pursuing his dead father's wishes.