2008 Woodie Awards
Obsidian: The Jagged Side of the Mirror
Cosmopolitan: things your guy knows or should know already, and why you've been duped.
Paul Davis
Issue date: 11/6/03 Section: Opinions
- Page 1 of 2 next >
I debated long and hard on what I was going to talk about, and I finally came up with something: Cosmopolitan. There are over two million people that are reading the trash on sex, men, and sex nation wide.
One may ask, "Why is this magazine and other magazines that aim at the sex life of women so bad for our country?" To this I can give many responses. These magazines are lies, a lot of them. Otherwise they only have the most obvious points. But to make sure I did this right, I stole a friend's Cosmopolitan and started reading. The issue was November 2003 with Molly Sims on the cover. I only add this so you know the reason this magazine has found its way into my apartment.
The first thing that I was interested in (after the slew of models wearing knitted bikini tops) was things not to do in bed. These magazines are meant for the blondest people we can find. One of the suggestions for things not to do was reminisce about an orgasm from your ex while in bed with your boyfriend. If there is a girl out there that reads this and wonders why that is a bad thing, I feel for your boyfriend already. There was also the suggestion that women shouldn't wear flannel to bed. Perhaps I'm rare, but I find some flannel can be cute, and if nothing else, it isn't going to make me run away.
I traveled through 50 plus pages of ads for make-up and an interview with Molly Sims so all those high school girls can learn how to be just like her. Finally, I came upon the article, "Secrets to Female Orgasm." I figured perhaps this would be helpful, but I was amazed and distressed to find out that the only tips Cosmo had for me were tips I had already known.
I thought women knew that sex would help in this feat, but low and behold, I stood corrected. The majority of the tips were positions that just weren't traditional missionary, even including missionary with the woman on top. I think any dullard with some free time and a warm body would find this out at some point. Don't forget a vibrator and thumb can work just as well. This was pointed out in the magazine of course.
One may ask, "Why is this magazine and other magazines that aim at the sex life of women so bad for our country?" To this I can give many responses. These magazines are lies, a lot of them. Otherwise they only have the most obvious points. But to make sure I did this right, I stole a friend's Cosmopolitan and started reading. The issue was November 2003 with Molly Sims on the cover. I only add this so you know the reason this magazine has found its way into my apartment.
The first thing that I was interested in (after the slew of models wearing knitted bikini tops) was things not to do in bed. These magazines are meant for the blondest people we can find. One of the suggestions for things not to do was reminisce about an orgasm from your ex while in bed with your boyfriend. If there is a girl out there that reads this and wonders why that is a bad thing, I feel for your boyfriend already. There was also the suggestion that women shouldn't wear flannel to bed. Perhaps I'm rare, but I find some flannel can be cute, and if nothing else, it isn't going to make me run away.
I traveled through 50 plus pages of ads for make-up and an interview with Molly Sims so all those high school girls can learn how to be just like her. Finally, I came upon the article, "Secrets to Female Orgasm." I figured perhaps this would be helpful, but I was amazed and distressed to find out that the only tips Cosmo had for me were tips I had already known.
I thought women knew that sex would help in this feat, but low and behold, I stood corrected. The majority of the tips were positions that just weren't traditional missionary, even including missionary with the woman on top. I think any dullard with some free time and a warm body would find this out at some point. Don't forget a vibrator and thumb can work just as well. This was pointed out in the magazine of course.