2008 Woodie Awards
Insomniac Insider
What to do after that hot date
Paul Davis
Issue date: 2/19/04 Section: Arts & Entertainment
The internet only works so long, admittedly, and after Valentine's Day, when you're date's tuckered out and tucked into bed asleep, you will have nothing to do once more. It's three in the morning, and you thought that the day would send you straight to bed. At the very least, you have just learned a vanishing act for money, so Wal-Mart might not be the answer to your sleepy woes.
2:59 a.m.
While looking at the pond, I had a brilliant idea. You probably already have on your boxers or undergarments, so there isn't too much work involved. Now, go outside. If you want you can dress for this part, and chip away the layer of ice on the pond. You need enough room for your body. Then go skinny dipping! If you have inhibitions, then it's alright to use your swimming suit you purchased on Christmas at discount. Now jump in and have fun in the freezing cold water. After drinking some caffeine and allowing my brain to function normally, I had another epiphany: please don't do that. It was brilliant for about a fraction of a second, but then I walked outside naked.
Now that I've burned that image into all of your minds--I didn't have a key card either, nowhere to put it--here's a good idea. Pop in some movies, and watch them. If you happen to bring home your date, it's something you can do together while cuddling. Well, you could do the skinny dipping together, but it's cold outside. The next day is Sunday, so you don't have to worry about class, and the sky's the limit.
3:00 a.m.
The first movie, which is so appropriate for this time of the year, is "Mall Rats." This love story is about two guys who have just lost their girlfriends, and it takes them to the mall where they look for the reason that they exist. Throughout, they receive off beat advice from Jay, Silent Bob and Stan Lee, while getting threatened by Ben Affleck. This will warm your hearts and make you laugh.
4:30 a.m.
Now that you have started on "Mall Rats," you could continue on a Kevin Smith movie marathon and hit up "Clerks," "Dogma," and other humorous movies. But I will not promote only one artist. Two other beautiful stories of compassion are "The Matrix" and "The Matrix: Reloaded." Watch Keanu Reeves attempt to act out passion for Carrie-Anne Moss. The acting is almost acceptable, and the martial arts sequences are amazing. The plot is decent, though looks weak for unknown reasons, perhaps because "the one" is not a fast one. But at this point, your mind has left you, and you are either just doing this to drown your sorrows, or you want to be close to the one you love.
6:30 a.m.
The final movie, which captured and shattered my sanity three times last Valentine's Day, is "Daredevil." Is there any love story more touching? In another Ben Affleck movie, Matt Murdock, a blind lawyer, falls in love with a beautiful woman, called Electra. Unknown to him, she's a psychotic martial artist. The two dance, but don't worry; wounds heal, and people try to kill the people that they love.
Is it time already? Yes, your date is asleep on the couch, or you are finally watching the sun rise. It's time for a new day, and with that, I say good morning--and good night.
2:59 a.m.
While looking at the pond, I had a brilliant idea. You probably already have on your boxers or undergarments, so there isn't too much work involved. Now, go outside. If you want you can dress for this part, and chip away the layer of ice on the pond. You need enough room for your body. Then go skinny dipping! If you have inhibitions, then it's alright to use your swimming suit you purchased on Christmas at discount. Now jump in and have fun in the freezing cold water. After drinking some caffeine and allowing my brain to function normally, I had another epiphany: please don't do that. It was brilliant for about a fraction of a second, but then I walked outside naked.
Now that I've burned that image into all of your minds--I didn't have a key card either, nowhere to put it--here's a good idea. Pop in some movies, and watch them. If you happen to bring home your date, it's something you can do together while cuddling. Well, you could do the skinny dipping together, but it's cold outside. The next day is Sunday, so you don't have to worry about class, and the sky's the limit.
3:00 a.m.
The first movie, which is so appropriate for this time of the year, is "Mall Rats." This love story is about two guys who have just lost their girlfriends, and it takes them to the mall where they look for the reason that they exist. Throughout, they receive off beat advice from Jay, Silent Bob and Stan Lee, while getting threatened by Ben Affleck. This will warm your hearts and make you laugh.
4:30 a.m.
Now that you have started on "Mall Rats," you could continue on a Kevin Smith movie marathon and hit up "Clerks," "Dogma," and other humorous movies. But I will not promote only one artist. Two other beautiful stories of compassion are "The Matrix" and "The Matrix: Reloaded." Watch Keanu Reeves attempt to act out passion for Carrie-Anne Moss. The acting is almost acceptable, and the martial arts sequences are amazing. The plot is decent, though looks weak for unknown reasons, perhaps because "the one" is not a fast one. But at this point, your mind has left you, and you are either just doing this to drown your sorrows, or you want to be close to the one you love.
6:30 a.m.
The final movie, which captured and shattered my sanity three times last Valentine's Day, is "Daredevil." Is there any love story more touching? In another Ben Affleck movie, Matt Murdock, a blind lawyer, falls in love with a beautiful woman, called Electra. Unknown to him, she's a psychotic martial artist. The two dance, but don't worry; wounds heal, and people try to kill the people that they love.
Is it time already? Yes, your date is asleep on the couch, or you are finally watching the sun rise. It's time for a new day, and with that, I say good morning--and good night.