2008 Woodie Awards
Bad Apples
No underwear makes for an awkward situation
Corey Kempf
Issue date: 2/19/04 Section: Fun House
- Page 1 of 1
To forewarn my faithful readers-hey! I didn't give you permission to roll your eyes-I've been as sick as a dog the last week or so, and this is no normal sickness. I have a cold that can only be compared to a Jehovah's Witness-it may be gone today, but it'll be back the next.
But this article isn't about sicknesses. I shall explore the wonderful world of publicity stunts. From Paris Hilton to streaker number one of the Super Bowl (Janet Jackson), these things have been used time and time again to jump start a new or washed up career.
A few months ago, the media were up in arms over Paris' scandalous sex tape. Then, the video was said to have been a publicity stunt used to promote her then up-coming show "The Simple Life." (I think someone figured a show this bad would need all the promoting possible.) Now Paris is saying that the video was stolen and released without consent by an internet company that she is now suing. She said that it was for personal use only. That's funny; that's the same thing thousands of men are saying about it now.
Then there's Janet, who everyone thought was the "normal" Jackson. After the halftime show, there was a streaker on the field. Turns out that Janet simply hadn't left the field after her performance. Why can't this family get in trouble for something like a bar fight? Why is it always something sexual?
But Janet hasn't really had a huge hit in several years. Why is she suddenly appearing on the Super Bowl Halftime Show? To do her own little "show," of course, so she can get back into the limelight.
Both of these women used a very sneaky and very exclusive manner in order to shove their way into the headlines. I say exclusive because celebrities are the only people who can pull these stunts.
Imagine a woman who has just been demoted from a high-ranking position. She cannot walk into the lobby and strategically expose her breast and thus regain her position. (Of course in this day and age, who knows.)
Maybe a man is in the same situation; he can't release his "home videos" to coworkers in order to regain the job. (I would've reversed the situation, but I thought it would be too painful to imagine a man strategically removing an article of his pants to reveal a testicle, but then again, I did just mention it.)
This sort of celebrity behavior, although pleasant entertainment for some, cannot be revered for this simple reason: you and I can't partake in shenanigans such as these in our public lives, unless you want to do the hokey-pokey with a guy who's known as the "Shower Stalker."
I hope you've all learned a lesson, and until next time, try to keep your clothes on.
But this article isn't about sicknesses. I shall explore the wonderful world of publicity stunts. From Paris Hilton to streaker number one of the Super Bowl (Janet Jackson), these things have been used time and time again to jump start a new or washed up career.
A few months ago, the media were up in arms over Paris' scandalous sex tape. Then, the video was said to have been a publicity stunt used to promote her then up-coming show "The Simple Life." (I think someone figured a show this bad would need all the promoting possible.) Now Paris is saying that the video was stolen and released without consent by an internet company that she is now suing. She said that it was for personal use only. That's funny; that's the same thing thousands of men are saying about it now.
Then there's Janet, who everyone thought was the "normal" Jackson. After the halftime show, there was a streaker on the field. Turns out that Janet simply hadn't left the field after her performance. Why can't this family get in trouble for something like a bar fight? Why is it always something sexual?
But Janet hasn't really had a huge hit in several years. Why is she suddenly appearing on the Super Bowl Halftime Show? To do her own little "show," of course, so she can get back into the limelight.
Both of these women used a very sneaky and very exclusive manner in order to shove their way into the headlines. I say exclusive because celebrities are the only people who can pull these stunts.
Imagine a woman who has just been demoted from a high-ranking position. She cannot walk into the lobby and strategically expose her breast and thus regain her position. (Of course in this day and age, who knows.)
Maybe a man is in the same situation; he can't release his "home videos" to coworkers in order to regain the job. (I would've reversed the situation, but I thought it would be too painful to imagine a man strategically removing an article of his pants to reveal a testicle, but then again, I did just mention it.)
This sort of celebrity behavior, although pleasant entertainment for some, cannot be revered for this simple reason: you and I can't partake in shenanigans such as these in our public lives, unless you want to do the hokey-pokey with a guy who's known as the "Shower Stalker."
I hope you've all learned a lesson, and until next time, try to keep your clothes on.