2008 Woodie Awards
Lakeland Book Looks
Fatkin's 12 month challenge
Mara Carpenter
Issue date: 2/19/04 Section: Fun House
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Obesity. We hear the word everywhere, and it seems like everyone is getting in on the trend. Statistically, children in grade school are getting fatter and fatter. Teach your children well. Start the Fatkins diet in your home, and they'll pick up your Bacchus-like feasting behavior.
Joan E. Small-Fatkins, the world renown obesity guru is back with another book following her original "Big and Beautiful Butts," which showed us the new nation wide trend towards the curvaceous and rotund, but Small-Fatkins's new book is unbeatable both in sales--the number one bestseller in the US, UK, and China for the past four weeks--and effectiveness.
Round and jolly Small-Fatkins really takes the cake--literally. She proves in this yearlong meal plan that anyone--even Twiggy--can become obese within the span of 12 months. First, Small-Fatkins outlines her lipase magnification technique: Yo-yo dieting, which is sure--over the span of one year--to ensure a blubbery whale-like sheen. Then, Small-Fatkins introduces the meal within a meal bar: butter and lard baklava, which will have you celebrating your own "Big Fat Greek Wedding" in no time. Next, she ensures a healthy, but fast, gain with her 2,000-carb diet, in which she suggests such uncontrolled portions daily. And, finally, Small-Fatkins steps things up a notch with her anti-exercise video "Sweating in Your Own Skin."
Dr. I. P. Nightly, renowned Mayo physician, suggests Small-Fatkins's anti-diet to many of his patients. "I have never found a more buttery method; my patients coast on margarine to the big time effortlessly."
At first, when I saw "Fatkins's 12-month Challenge," I was somewhat skeptical. I mean, here's this incredibly rotund woman on the cover next to a beautiful Rolls Royce with a bumper sticker reading: "Roll in my Rolls." It was almost too unbelievable to be true: I could actually gain 200 pounds in a year!
So, naturally, I had to read the book, and what I read just made sense. I'd yo-yo dieted in the past with a successful weight gain, so she had me sold on that point. I figured I'd give it a go, and here I am--one month later and 50 pounds heavier. If I can do it, you can too.
Joan E. Small-Fatkins, the world renown obesity guru is back with another book following her original "Big and Beautiful Butts," which showed us the new nation wide trend towards the curvaceous and rotund, but Small-Fatkins's new book is unbeatable both in sales--the number one bestseller in the US, UK, and China for the past four weeks--and effectiveness.
Round and jolly Small-Fatkins really takes the cake--literally. She proves in this yearlong meal plan that anyone--even Twiggy--can become obese within the span of 12 months. First, Small-Fatkins outlines her lipase magnification technique: Yo-yo dieting, which is sure--over the span of one year--to ensure a blubbery whale-like sheen. Then, Small-Fatkins introduces the meal within a meal bar: butter and lard baklava, which will have you celebrating your own "Big Fat Greek Wedding" in no time. Next, she ensures a healthy, but fast, gain with her 2,000-carb diet, in which she suggests such uncontrolled portions daily. And, finally, Small-Fatkins steps things up a notch with her anti-exercise video "Sweating in Your Own Skin."
Dr. I. P. Nightly, renowned Mayo physician, suggests Small-Fatkins's anti-diet to many of his patients. "I have never found a more buttery method; my patients coast on margarine to the big time effortlessly."
At first, when I saw "Fatkins's 12-month Challenge," I was somewhat skeptical. I mean, here's this incredibly rotund woman on the cover next to a beautiful Rolls Royce with a bumper sticker reading: "Roll in my Rolls." It was almost too unbelievable to be true: I could actually gain 200 pounds in a year!
So, naturally, I had to read the book, and what I read just made sense. I'd yo-yo dieted in the past with a successful weight gain, so she had me sold on that point. I figured I'd give it a go, and here I am--one month later and 50 pounds heavier. If I can do it, you can too.