Lakeland Mirror

Issue date: 12/7/06 Section: Fun House

The two memebers, Paul Pena and Kongarool Ondar, of Genghis Blues.

When you think of Tuva, you probably think that you said that incorrectly and were trying to say "Tuba." It seems like everyone has forgotten about Tannu Tuva. Even Microsoft Word is trying to correct it by highlighting it with annoying red underlining as I write this.

But all squiggly red underlining aside, how can people forget about a country that gave us the band Genghis Blues? Formed by two men, Paul Pena and Kongar-ool Ondar, it highlighted the need for Tuvan throat overtones in American rock and blues music.

Sadly, I myself vaguely knew where Tuva was, so I consulted the great wise one of indisputable knowledge, the internet, more precisely, Wikipedia.

Tuva, or Tannu Tuva as some people call it, is nestled in the extreme nether regions of Siberia, and its capitol, Kyzyl, is the exact geographical center of Asia itself. To this day, some the maps regulated by the Republic of China still label Tuva as a part of Asia.

In response, Russia demands they recognize Tuva's absorption from 1992 after the fall of communism left a hole in their government's self-esteem. To which Russia went on a small-country-absorption binge, uncontrollable crying, and a continuous watching of "Happy Days" re-runs.

So, how is life in the nether regions of Siberia? Some inquiring minds want to know what the dude to chick ratio is over there. Well guys, for every 1,000 dudes there are about 1,108 chicks. But before you think this is a babe-fest, check out the climate.

The average summer temperature is about 18 degrees Celsius, and winter is a brisk negative 32 degrees Celsius. In translation, their summer is 64 degrees Fahrenheit, not exactly bikini weather, and winter, oh man, is a cold negative 25 degrees Fahrenheit, which is hauntingly similar to weather pattern on Lambeau Field.

But Tuva is still a land of magic and mystery…and throat music, and has a long deep history rooted in with those lovable ruffians known as the Little Huns, those rapscallion invading Mongols from the plains.

I would sing you a Tuvan song of parting, but sad to say I have a cursed voice that sends anything with working ears off running for the hills, so a fine farewell shall be fitting for now.

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