2008 Woodie Awards
New alternatives for your spring break destination
Don't pack up for Daytona just yet
Brandon Ezzard
Issue date: 2/15/07 Section: Fun House
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Spring Break is coming up soon and that means many spring breakers will be heading to places like Daytona and their grandparents house. But while those destinations are hip and happening like the kids say these days, most spring breakers are looking for alternatives this year.
The only problem is that most spring breakers are either college students or hobos who can't afford to have a big budget spring break. But if you want to spring break on a budget, have no fear because the "Spring Break Institute of Spring Breaking" has come up with a list of the most underrated but totally fun and cheap places to visit for spring break.
Here are just two places out of the three million they found.
Newstan, Indiana: This is the birthplace of Paris Hilton, yes, The Paris Hilton! In 1981, her mother, what's her face, and her father, I think his name is Eugene, were heading back to L.A. when Paris began banging to get out of her mother's womb.
In an ironic twist of fate, the Hiltons were turned away from the town's Hilton hotel as there were no more rooms available. A local man let the young couple use the back of his Ford Ranger to give birth to the future princess of America.
Legend has it the moment Paris was born, the stars aligned and a magical rain fell out of the sky. The rain was preserved and sits stagnant in the town's fountain. It is believed that the water has healing powers as one tourist who had Hepatitis B discovered it was downgraded to Hepatitis C after drinking the water.
While spring breaking in Newstan, take part in the town's Paris Hilton annex classes where you can learn the proper way to say "That's Hot" as well as the correct way to hold a small animal as a fashion accessory.
For a small fee of $10, you can have the local fire department dress as the paparazzi and follow you around while taking incriminating pictures of you drunk or with your pants down. They make great postcards!
Most recently, Newstan has renovated an old Hardees Restaurant and turned it into a night club called "Club Heiress," While there, take the Paris Hilton Challenge; if you guess correctly how many Grey Goose vodkas you can drink before puking, you win a lunch with a Paris Hilton look a like.
The only problem is that most spring breakers are either college students or hobos who can't afford to have a big budget spring break. But if you want to spring break on a budget, have no fear because the "Spring Break Institute of Spring Breaking" has come up with a list of the most underrated but totally fun and cheap places to visit for spring break.
Here are just two places out of the three million they found.
Newstan, Indiana: This is the birthplace of Paris Hilton, yes, The Paris Hilton! In 1981, her mother, what's her face, and her father, I think his name is Eugene, were heading back to L.A. when Paris began banging to get out of her mother's womb.
In an ironic twist of fate, the Hiltons were turned away from the town's Hilton hotel as there were no more rooms available. A local man let the young couple use the back of his Ford Ranger to give birth to the future princess of America.
Legend has it the moment Paris was born, the stars aligned and a magical rain fell out of the sky. The rain was preserved and sits stagnant in the town's fountain. It is believed that the water has healing powers as one tourist who had Hepatitis B discovered it was downgraded to Hepatitis C after drinking the water.
While spring breaking in Newstan, take part in the town's Paris Hilton annex classes where you can learn the proper way to say "That's Hot" as well as the correct way to hold a small animal as a fashion accessory.
For a small fee of $10, you can have the local fire department dress as the paparazzi and follow you around while taking incriminating pictures of you drunk or with your pants down. They make great postcards!
Most recently, Newstan has renovated an old Hardees Restaurant and turned it into a night club called "Club Heiress," While there, take the Paris Hilton Challenge; if you guess correctly how many Grey Goose vodkas you can drink before puking, you win a lunch with a Paris Hilton look a like.
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