2008 Woodie Awards
Obituary: the world mourns the loss of Federline
Federline's fifteen minutes of fame are up
Dino Mujakovic
Issue date: 2/15/07 Section: Fun House
- Page 1 of 1
On Sunday, Feb. 5, 2007, Kevin Federline passed away as his 15 minutes of fame ran out during the Super Bowl commercials he was in.
After thrown into fame through marrying Britney Spears on Sep. 18, 2004, he was put back into his place as a fast food worker during the Super Bowl commercial. The public eye is hoping he will remain there and not return to make headlines as a loser.
Federline will be remembered by his soon-to-be ex-wife Spears, with whom he has two children, and former ex-girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson, with whom he also has two children.
None of the children will remember Federline as he never took the time to get to know them, which isn't too upsetting since no one has seen Spears' second son, Jayden, in the first place.
Federline was informed that his 15 minutes of fame were over through text messages (the same way Spears informed him of their divorce). As the prenuptial agreement stated, Federline is entitled to $300,000 a year for half the numbers of years he was married to Spears. Under this law, he will receive $300,000 and 50 percent from the sale of their Malibu home. This should be enough money for him to pay the bills he racked up while Spears was his sugar mama. After all, when crazy enough to marry Spears, one better use up her money.
His short lived fame was spent early as a back up dancer for various artists where he jumped around convincing people he knew how to dance. Following that, he considered himself a musician, performing his song "Lose Control" as the final act of the 2006 Teen Choice Awards.
The performance failed as viewers were thankful of him being the last act which resulted in many TV's being turned off. You know you are bad when you can't entertain an audience of kids.
In addition, Federline used to be a model. That was his only smart career choice since pictures don't talk, sing or act.
Now that he is dead in Hollywood, Federline will spend time recording more crap to be considered music and beg like a lil' puppy for more treats to be re-hired as a back-up dancer by Justin Timberlake, Pink, Christina Milian and other artist.
His future residence will be under a bridge in Bel Air where he will have a plastic bag as a bed and plenty of tabloids laughing at him to use as a blanket. If he is lucky, he will be able to be a model for a line of flannel shirts designed for the trailer-trash of today.
He will always be remembered as the loser who made it big through a marriage certificate.
After thrown into fame through marrying Britney Spears on Sep. 18, 2004, he was put back into his place as a fast food worker during the Super Bowl commercial. The public eye is hoping he will remain there and not return to make headlines as a loser.
Federline will be remembered by his soon-to-be ex-wife Spears, with whom he has two children, and former ex-girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson, with whom he also has two children.
None of the children will remember Federline as he never took the time to get to know them, which isn't too upsetting since no one has seen Spears' second son, Jayden, in the first place.
Federline was informed that his 15 minutes of fame were over through text messages (the same way Spears informed him of their divorce). As the prenuptial agreement stated, Federline is entitled to $300,000 a year for half the numbers of years he was married to Spears. Under this law, he will receive $300,000 and 50 percent from the sale of their Malibu home. This should be enough money for him to pay the bills he racked up while Spears was his sugar mama. After all, when crazy enough to marry Spears, one better use up her money.
His short lived fame was spent early as a back up dancer for various artists where he jumped around convincing people he knew how to dance. Following that, he considered himself a musician, performing his song "Lose Control" as the final act of the 2006 Teen Choice Awards.
The performance failed as viewers were thankful of him being the last act which resulted in many TV's being turned off. You know you are bad when you can't entertain an audience of kids.
In addition, Federline used to be a model. That was his only smart career choice since pictures don't talk, sing or act.
Now that he is dead in Hollywood, Federline will spend time recording more crap to be considered music and beg like a lil' puppy for more treats to be re-hired as a back-up dancer by Justin Timberlake, Pink, Christina Milian and other artist.
His future residence will be under a bridge in Bel Air where he will have a plastic bag as a bed and plenty of tabloids laughing at him to use as a blanket. If he is lucky, he will be able to be a model for a line of flannel shirts designed for the trailer-trash of today.
He will always be remembered as the loser who made it big through a marriage certificate.
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