2008 Woodie Awards
A friendly game between rivals
Beau Markut
Issue date: 2/15/07 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 1
For once in my career as a sportswriter, I am (forced) blessed to sit down to the keyboard with humble hands. As many have known prior, I am a very devout Chicago Bears' fan and I have always felt (extreme hatred) respect for Packers fans everywhere. This comes into play as my wonderful team decided to rob me of my first major championship in my life since the Badgers won the Rose Bowl in 1999.
Now I have (been bound and tortured to) must give out a number of concessions. Peyton Manning is a (glorified bum) great quarterback. I hope the Colts fans (all simultaneously jump off a cliff) enjoy their championship team.
Also since I am a Bears' fan, I have been catching a lot of heat from the Packer fans on campus. I attribute it to (their uncontrollable crying since they did not make the playoffs) my team's loss in the Super Bowl.
I just (think they are a bunch of whining wimps) do not understand their reasoning in the matter. It is simple logic (for you ignorant individuals.) Good teams make the Super Bowl. The Bears made the Super Bowl. Therefore, the Bears are a good team.
I can also understand why the Packer fans would not understand this reasoning as well, because (they are most likely still working on what one plus two equals) fanaticism is a higher priority. I understand that you would (father Brett Favre's children) defend your team to the day of your death.
I am sure that you have pictures of your favorite players on the walls of your (wooden shanties) houses, and you are (drunk and crying) excited while watching your team play just like all other fans. They probably even (polish their hunting rifles) eat good food as well.
Packer fans get their sports information from (week old newspapers in their outhouses) ESPN just like the rest of us. They wear (t-shirts in groups that say, "I'm with Stupid") jerseys of their favorite players. They have even come up with (ridiculous) great trends like the Lambeau Leap and fake cheese on their heads out of their own (intoxication) great devotion to their team.
All I am trying to point out is that Packer fans are (the scourge of the Earth) just like every other group of fans. Their (ignorance, beer drinking, and generally nasty appearance) integrity, pride, and love of the game make them (the excrement stain on the tighty-whities of the league) the shining pinnacle on top of the Lombardi trophy.
This is a sincere attempt to (wage a war that will end in the burning of Lambeau Field) to add some brotherhood to this rivalry. If we could come to terms and congratulate each other on the glory of our teams, then (Lucifer would move to Sheboygan for warmer temperatures) that would be a great day. I hope next year the Bears (defeat the Packers in a way that can only be described as violent and the Packers do not score a single point all year) can come to terms and embrace a great game.
Now I have (been bound and tortured to) must give out a number of concessions. Peyton Manning is a (glorified bum) great quarterback. I hope the Colts fans (all simultaneously jump off a cliff) enjoy their championship team.
Also since I am a Bears' fan, I have been catching a lot of heat from the Packer fans on campus. I attribute it to (their uncontrollable crying since they did not make the playoffs) my team's loss in the Super Bowl.
I just (think they are a bunch of whining wimps) do not understand their reasoning in the matter. It is simple logic (for you ignorant individuals.) Good teams make the Super Bowl. The Bears made the Super Bowl. Therefore, the Bears are a good team.
I can also understand why the Packer fans would not understand this reasoning as well, because (they are most likely still working on what one plus two equals) fanaticism is a higher priority. I understand that you would (father Brett Favre's children) defend your team to the day of your death.
I am sure that you have pictures of your favorite players on the walls of your (wooden shanties) houses, and you are (drunk and crying) excited while watching your team play just like all other fans. They probably even (polish their hunting rifles) eat good food as well.
Packer fans get their sports information from (week old newspapers in their outhouses) ESPN just like the rest of us. They wear (t-shirts in groups that say, "I'm with Stupid") jerseys of their favorite players. They have even come up with (ridiculous) great trends like the Lambeau Leap and fake cheese on their heads out of their own (intoxication) great devotion to their team.
All I am trying to point out is that Packer fans are (the scourge of the Earth) just like every other group of fans. Their (ignorance, beer drinking, and generally nasty appearance) integrity, pride, and love of the game make them (the excrement stain on the tighty-whities of the league) the shining pinnacle on top of the Lombardi trophy.
This is a sincere attempt to (wage a war that will end in the burning of Lambeau Field) to add some brotherhood to this rivalry. If we could come to terms and congratulate each other on the glory of our teams, then (Lucifer would move to Sheboygan for warmer temperatures) that would be a great day. I hope next year the Bears (defeat the Packers in a way that can only be described as violent and the Packers do not score a single point all year) can come to terms and embrace a great game.
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