2008 Woodie Awards
Lakeland exorcist needed?
John Sieglaff
Issue date: 3/1/07 Section: Fun House
The following events I'm about to relay may sound like a joke-a funny story that I'm submitting to you for your amusement. But allow me to make myself perfectly clear. This is no laughing matter.
A couple months back, I had the hankering to watch one of the scariest films of all time, The Exorcist. Having the movie with me here at school, this seemed to be no issue. I reached for the movie and opened the cover.
The empty case lay before me, with nothing but the cold, evil stare of a possessed Linda Blair. Of course, my rational mind kicked in, and I figured I simply didn't remember lending it out to anyone but was sure that I had. I can't deny, however, I suspected a demonic presence might have been dwelling in my room.
It later appeared back in the case, neatly placed in the center holder. How it got there, I don't know. Now I've lied before. Mostly about small stuff, you know, like "yes, I cleaned my room," or "yes, I studied for the midterm," or "no, I didn't kill my roommate." But I assure you, this is no lie.
About a month later, I felt the hankering once again. That same desire I'd felt before to have the living, breathing crap scared out of me. I reached for the movie and opened the case. The glazed over eyes of Linda Blair sneered up at me once again.
The disc was missing. At this point I was sure a demon was lurking in my room. What other explanation could there be? Not wanting to believe it, I looked through every movie case I had. I didn't stop there; I looked through every CD case I had, every video game case I owned, and every VHS box I possessed. Nothing!
I think one of the main reasons that I assume the presence of a demon so conclusively is because of the fright and trauma that viewing The Exorcist has caused me. When I think of the foul things that little girl says, I can't believe a human being actually came up with those words.
My hat that I'm not wearing goes off to William Peter Blatty for coming up with the lines for Regan (or the demon) to say. "Shove it up your ass, you f------!" and "You killed your mother! You left her alone to die! She'll never forgive you! Bastard!" is some high quality insulting. If I had to write the dialogue for the demon, it'd just say, "You're ugly, you smelly butt face," or something to that effect.
That was beyond Blatty's time. I mean, didn't Gone with the Wind get some X rating just for saying, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"? And The Exorcist was written in the '70's. That was considered pretty risqué.
A couple months back, I had the hankering to watch one of the scariest films of all time, The Exorcist. Having the movie with me here at school, this seemed to be no issue. I reached for the movie and opened the cover.
The empty case lay before me, with nothing but the cold, evil stare of a possessed Linda Blair. Of course, my rational mind kicked in, and I figured I simply didn't remember lending it out to anyone but was sure that I had. I can't deny, however, I suspected a demonic presence might have been dwelling in my room.
It later appeared back in the case, neatly placed in the center holder. How it got there, I don't know. Now I've lied before. Mostly about small stuff, you know, like "yes, I cleaned my room," or "yes, I studied for the midterm," or "no, I didn't kill my roommate." But I assure you, this is no lie.
About a month later, I felt the hankering once again. That same desire I'd felt before to have the living, breathing crap scared out of me. I reached for the movie and opened the case. The glazed over eyes of Linda Blair sneered up at me once again.
The disc was missing. At this point I was sure a demon was lurking in my room. What other explanation could there be? Not wanting to believe it, I looked through every movie case I had. I didn't stop there; I looked through every CD case I had, every video game case I owned, and every VHS box I possessed. Nothing!
I think one of the main reasons that I assume the presence of a demon so conclusively is because of the fright and trauma that viewing The Exorcist has caused me. When I think of the foul things that little girl says, I can't believe a human being actually came up with those words.
My hat that I'm not wearing goes off to William Peter Blatty for coming up with the lines for Regan (or the demon) to say. "Shove it up your ass, you f------!" and "You killed your mother! You left her alone to die! She'll never forgive you! Bastard!" is some high quality insulting. If I had to write the dialogue for the demon, it'd just say, "You're ugly, you smelly butt face," or something to that effect.
That was beyond Blatty's time. I mean, didn't Gone with the Wind get some X rating just for saying, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"? And The Exorcist was written in the '70's. That was considered pretty risqué.
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