Lakeland Mirror

Issue date: 10/4/07 Section: Fun House

Media Credit: http://teachnet.ie

So, as I said last time, welcome, and welcome back, everybody. I hope everyone is starting to settle in, getting used to your schedules, burying any roommates who may have crossed you. It's okay-your secret's safe with me.

That aside, I hope everyone is feeling welcome and safe here. Seriously, I don't think Lakeland has ever had anyone who has killed his or her own roommate off. We don't do that here. Here we just act like jerks until the roommate leaves. Then you might get your own room, which rocks.

I once had my own room. It was last semester, my sophomore year. I was paired with this guy who basically adopted my television set and watched it every hour of the day. Honestly, if he wasn't doing natural human functions (eating, sleeping, showering, going number one or two), or going to classes, he was watching TV.

He did leave on weekends, however, so that was nice, and I survived the first semester with him. There were few, but major, drawbacks and I finally became fed up with his mistreatment of my property. When I put the TV at the foot of my bed, he flipped out and moved back home.

It is not that I enjoy being a grade A douche bag. But I began to not feel welcome in my own room and studying was not easy with game shows, sports games, and hit programs from the early 90's blaring all the time. Most of the labels on the buttons had faded off of the remote due to his constant abuse.

So, hopefully this has given you some good advice on how to handle your conflictions with your roommates in a mature fashion. Tune in next time. And enjoy the Chase and Eddie.

…Oh, wait. I don't think I have written nearly enough, yet. *Sigh* I guess I better keep on writing if you guys are still reading. Where was I? Ah, yes, having my own room.

Having your own room is like being the only one in a theatre, except a theatre is a lot bigger and dorm rooms don't commonly have projectors hung on the ceilings pointed at a white, roll-up screen. Nor do they have elevated seating for maximum viewing comfort. But still, having your own room is sweet!

Once I got my own room, the first thing I did was disassemble his bed and open up my room. I was quite tired of the narrow walkway between the dividing desks and the beds next to the walls. After moving a few other things around, I started offering tours of my room.

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