2008 Woodie Awards
The new face of Lakeland
Rob Pockat
Issue date: 10/17/07 Section: Fun House
- Page 1 of 1
Benjamin Franklin once stated that "Pride is said to be the last vice the good man gets clear of." I don't think I'm going to clear this one.
I know that a student publication isn't the proper forum to forward one's own goals and ambitions, but I feel like rockin' the boat a little bit.
I don't necessarily consider myself vain or conceited, but I have one goal before I graduate from Lakeland. I want to be on a billboard!
I don't think this is an unreasonable goal. The school is putting these signs up anyway. You can't drive more than three blocks in Sheboygan without seeing a 20 by 40 foot advertisement for Lakeland College. There is obviously a ton of money in the budget to pay for this sort of thing.
Also, over the past two years the same billboard picture has moved throughout Sheboygan County at least six times. I'm really sick of seeing the guy giving the thumbs-up sign. I don't think he even goes to Lakeland anymore.
On the other hand, I do understand that I may not fit the typical demographics of a Lakeland College billboard model.
I'm not on any sports teams, I'm not particularly attractive, and I'm probably about 15 years older than the typical Lakeland student, but I still think I can fill a void.
I feel that the slightly overweight, mildly intelligent, middle-aged population is sorely under represented on Lakeland signage. These are attributes that I not only possess, but I am quite proud of… (Except for the overweight part…and being mildly intelligent has its limitations…The age thing kind of bugs me too).
All of this aside, I am very happy with the high level of averageness which I have achieved in my life.
Why do I want to do this? Is it for the pride or the prestige? Not really. Is it for the admiration of my peers? Not at all. Is it to spite my mother-in-law? Maybe a little. Is it to potentially get the "thumbs-up boy" out of Sheboygan County? Definitely.
Mostly, I just think it would be cool to see myself ten-feet-tall and bulletproof on a giant sign.
Now the question: How do I get on a billboard? Do I need to fill out an application or join the football team? Maybe losing a little weight or having some minor plastic surgery would help. The only thing that I can think of doing is to bribe somebody. Here it goes!
The offer: If you can get me on a Lakeland billboard I will go to the great expense of taking you out for pizza. I will, of course, have to limit the number of toppings to no more than three because my wife only gives me $7.63 per week for allowance. You'll also have to buy your own beverage and leave a tip too, but I've got the rest.
So, if you can get me on a billboard, send me an e-mail, give me a call, or contact my agent. I may not exactly fit the requirements for your sign, but I really can't be too much worse than Ryan Holm.
I know that a student publication isn't the proper forum to forward one's own goals and ambitions, but I feel like rockin' the boat a little bit.
I don't necessarily consider myself vain or conceited, but I have one goal before I graduate from Lakeland. I want to be on a billboard!
I don't think this is an unreasonable goal. The school is putting these signs up anyway. You can't drive more than three blocks in Sheboygan without seeing a 20 by 40 foot advertisement for Lakeland College. There is obviously a ton of money in the budget to pay for this sort of thing.
Also, over the past two years the same billboard picture has moved throughout Sheboygan County at least six times. I'm really sick of seeing the guy giving the thumbs-up sign. I don't think he even goes to Lakeland anymore.
On the other hand, I do understand that I may not fit the typical demographics of a Lakeland College billboard model.
I'm not on any sports teams, I'm not particularly attractive, and I'm probably about 15 years older than the typical Lakeland student, but I still think I can fill a void.
I feel that the slightly overweight, mildly intelligent, middle-aged population is sorely under represented on Lakeland signage. These are attributes that I not only possess, but I am quite proud of… (Except for the overweight part…and being mildly intelligent has its limitations…The age thing kind of bugs me too).
All of this aside, I am very happy with the high level of averageness which I have achieved in my life.
Why do I want to do this? Is it for the pride or the prestige? Not really. Is it for the admiration of my peers? Not at all. Is it to spite my mother-in-law? Maybe a little. Is it to potentially get the "thumbs-up boy" out of Sheboygan County? Definitely.
Mostly, I just think it would be cool to see myself ten-feet-tall and bulletproof on a giant sign.
Now the question: How do I get on a billboard? Do I need to fill out an application or join the football team? Maybe losing a little weight or having some minor plastic surgery would help. The only thing that I can think of doing is to bribe somebody. Here it goes!
The offer: If you can get me on a Lakeland billboard I will go to the great expense of taking you out for pizza. I will, of course, have to limit the number of toppings to no more than three because my wife only gives me $7.63 per week for allowance. You'll also have to buy your own beverage and leave a tip too, but I've got the rest.
So, if you can get me on a billboard, send me an e-mail, give me a call, or contact my agent. I may not exactly fit the requirements for your sign, but I really can't be too much worse than Ryan Holm.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Matt Holm
posted 10/19/07 @ 5:42 PM CST
Rob,
This is an awesome article. I was laughing the whole time I was reading it. Hopfully you will make it on one, if so put in a good word for me also!
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